Living in a “BOX” Prevents You From Living Your Life

Many of us, live day to day, without realizing that we have built a “box” around ourselves. This “box,” is also known as a “comfort zone,” “complacency,” or ” just plain laziness. It is very easy to build this box–its elements are constructed from our life experiences, and subsequently, programming oneself to live a certain way, think a certain way, and act a certain way. Two things need to happen to break us out of this “box”: (1) someone we trust has to ‘check’ you and point out that you need to step out of your comfort zone; and (2) you then need to do it. Resultant behaviors from living in your “box,” can be procrastination, selfishness, and fear.

When living in your “box,” you tend to put things aside, thinking you always have tomorrow to get something started, or accomplished. The problem is, you may not always have tomorrow. The reality of life that many people tend to ignore is that “tomorrow is no guarantee.” Life can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye. It happens. Living in the “NOW” is the best way to accomplish your short term goals, as well as ensure that you are taking steps toward achieving your long term goals. Living in the “NOW” forces one to step outside of the “box.”

When living in your “box,” you tend to ignore others. Or, more accurately, you ignore whatever it is you don’t think pertains to you, or that which you don’t want to hear. You are so set in your ways from living so long in your “box,” that you lose the capacity of keeping an open mind, accepting advice, or embracing a different viewpoint or a way of doing something. Stepping out of your “box” makes you vulnerable to others’ criticisms, suggestions and commentary, but if you take others’ input as lessons, you can more positively discern those lessons from which you’ll learn, and those from which you won’t. A much better way of doing things, instead of shutting out everything altogether from the start.

When living in your “box,” it’s all about ME. Or, ME, and whoever is and has been directly attached to ME for as long as I’ve been in MY box (i.e. – child, parents, sibling, dog, or just ME, MYSELF, AND I). It can be a challenge to have to consider someone besides ME, and learn that others can come first sometimes. It can be a challenge to consider the many, the group, the partnership, the relationship, or the stranger, over ME. This selfishness isn’t usually brought about because of ill will towards others; it is brought about because one has been programmed, while in their “box,” to only consider themseleves, their own well being, and what will bring them the most satisfaction–because no one else has ever been in the picture long enough to matter. This struggle can be difficult for people entering into a new relationship after being single for so long, people having their first child after going for years without one, having to care for someone new, like an aging or sickly relative, after going for so long only caring for yourself. The more we step out of the “box” through the course of our lives, the ability to consider others becomes much stronger, because we are not always focused on pleasing ourselves.

At 40 years old, I am finally learning how to do this. Many close friends, whom I consider to be as close as family have tried for many years to get me out of my “box,” succeeding in some instances, failing in others. I have my future wife, and true soulmate, Claudia, to thank for showing me how step, in fact, LEAP out of my “box.” Sometimes, it takes someone like a soulmate, whose hold on you is so spiritually entrenched, to dig you out of your complancency. I am learning to live more freely now, outside of the confines of what can be equated to a spiritual container–that prevents you from living life. Thank you Claudia, I love you.

Humbly submitted,
Sensei Gerry Valido